Burning Man: I never expected the Temple

The Temple - Burning Man 2013

Nobody warned me about the Temple at Burning Man.  My friend led me there on Saturday as he had a duty to fulfill.  The mother of a friend had passed away the week before and he promised to leave a message for her there.

He told me this in advance, but it didn’t prepare me for the power of the temple. 

We rode up in the heat of the afternoon passing through the now normal dust storms along the way.  I had my arms draped with yoga bracelets from Silver and Sage (one of my friend's friends made them)  with the plan of handing some out along the way – but that didn’t happen.

This is because this area is sacred…and a place unique to the rest of Black Rock City.

When passing through the camps lining the streets of the playa, you always hear some sort of music, conversation, laughter or a call-out for free drinks, free pasta, free massages or whatever people happen to feel like doing at the moment.

When you walk through the boarded fence marking the perimeter of the Temple, that all ends. The vibe changes. It's somber. It's sad. It's different.

The wooden fence outlining the Temple's perimeter

The first thing I noticed was the silence…and then the tears.

The dub-step beats you hear in the background in other parts of  Burning Man didn’t reach the Temple.  Here you heard the wind and sometimes that wind would trigger the gongs within the Temple to echo within its structure. But that was all you heard.

No one spoke. No one made eye contact.

It was a place to be alone with your own sorrow, hurt and demons in the midst of hundreds of other souls wandering around and doing the same thing.  You're lost and invisible in your pain amongst the crowd.

The Temple itself was a plain wooden pyramid that they would burn on Sunday night. But while it looked like nothing special, it was the most powerful structure on the property because it was filled with  a combination of human suffering and peace.

As you walked around and weaved your way through the sections, messages written in marker on the wooden beams lined your path.  The messages were simple -  but their honesty was raw.

Messages left on the Temple

While walking I read things like:

- "Sarah, please forgive me. I’m so sorry.”

- "1979 -2012 – He was taken from us too soon.”

- "I am beautiful…and one day I may actually believe it.”

- "Tara, I love you. I wish I would have told you.”

- "Please…give me another chance. Derek.”
- "It's been a year, and I still miss you."

There were also photos of friends undergoing cancer treatment,  those who had recently passed and shrines to friends and families.

The temple was truly an unexpected spiritual place in this vast place of dust, crazy outfits and happy go-lucky cyclists.  And I could see how when it burned on Sunday night how the experience could help release the emotions trapped inside the people there.

It was amazing.

Burning Man: Becoming one with the Playa

Our super decorated bikes thanks to my friend Jason.

After waiting hours in the "staging area", we finally rolled into the gates of Black Rock City around 4:30 a.m.

We were tired and excited.  I was a little worried my friend had given up on waiting for me and had crashed somewhere.  The one thing about Burning Man (and it’s not a bad thing) is that your cell phone doesn't work so my last text to him was at 7 p.m. in Reno with a note saying: “We’re on our way!”

Unfortunately at that time I was on my way and now I was nearly 7 hours late – and I had no idea where my camp was…or how this whole thing worked.

But I had nothing to fear. My friend had stayed at our set meeting point and he had my tacky fake fur thrift shop jacket I had bought for the trip -- and he had decorated my bike Burning Man style. Yay!!

IT’S ALL ABOUT THE BIKE

My friend, who was celebrating his 7^th Burning Man trip, led me around the city the next day for hours. I soon learned it’s all about the bike at Burning Man. The bike shows off your personality, but it’s also a way to get you from place to place.

Actually, one of my favorite parts of the whole adventure was seeing the people on the bikes. 

Bikes at Burning Man 2013

Imagine this – you’re pedaling through a dust storm. The storm has muted all sound and you can barely see.  There’s no one around you on the playa -- or so you think, but then suddenly the dust breaks for a second and group of wildly dressed people ride out of the cloud.

They are covered in grey sand, but their scarves, hair and wigs are flying behind them in the wind.  They are wearing goggles and pedaling bikes decorated with fake fur, plush animal parts like cartoon heads and tails, flowers and other crazy things.

And then they disappear into another cloud of dust.

It’s all a little bit surreal.

And it doesn’t matter where it happens.  It could be by the esplanade area that is lined with dance clubs or the coffee place.  



Hanging out at the far end of the playa.

It could also be by the Man.  The dust storms were sometimes so thick, you couldn’t see him perched in the distance on his spacecraft.

Or they could happen in the mid or far ends of playa where the large sculptures were.  This was my favorite area as it was a mix of isolation and crowded-wonder together.

I really did like the emptiness and quiet of the playa  -- and the respect it commanded.

DO NOT BELIEVE WHAT YOU SEE ON YOUTUBE

I admit I was worried about going to Burning Man. Not as worried as I was going my Guatemala Mission Trip a few years ago, but pretty worried.  I was concerned I wouldn’t fit in and I would be too conservative for the people who were there.

So I’m going give you a word of advice – don’t believe what you see on YouTube.  Yes, the images are real, but the essence isn’t. 

Typical moment at Burning Man 2013

Before I went, Burners told me over and over how crazy it was, how bizarre the people were, how big it was, how it’s all naked people and drugs and how my eyes are going to be opened.

Surprisingly, I didn’t find it unusual at all.  I expected it to be bigger, crazier, wilder, and more bizarre.  But…this might just be me.

I’ve done a lot and seen a lot of interesting things over the years so I might not be your typical Burning Man virgin.  Plus, I'm a writer -- so you know our minds are a little warped to begin with and unreal worlds are our norm.

But that’s not to say I didn’t enjoy myself. Once I realized I wasn’t going to be out of my element, I relaxed. 

Our fantastic neighbors

So here are the answers to the questions everyone asks:

1) Yes, there were some naked people there, but not as many as you may think.  I saw maybe 1 person in every 500. 

2) Yes, there were drugs and alcohol there – but compared to going to Lollapoolza or any weekend in Old Vegas, I didn’t see one person throwing up, not able to stand on their own, or urinating in the open.  

Sure, they were buzzed and happy, but the difference between Burning Man and every other crazy party I’ve been to over the years, is that here, people were very respectful to others….and to the playa.  People really worked hard to keep things as clean as possible which was really nice.

3) No, I didn’t feel threatened or scared at any time. 

THE SECRET TO BURNING MAN

Here’s the thing…people are busy doing their own thing and letting go of their own knots and boundaries that they don’t have time to worry about yours.

I found everyone was welcoming, chatty and curious.  There were a lot of people there who dressed in the “look” but when you talked to them or gave them something, they were genuinely surprised and grateful.

I had amazing conversations about creativity, where the world was going, technology, business ideas and a bunch of other topics that I've never had time to explore in my day-to-day life just because I've been too busy to sit still -- and other people like me were just as busy.

Burning Man is one world where everyone gets to stop and take the time to explore their own little world – and that’s okay because for one week, they don’t have to be anywhere else.

Burning Man Early Friday Morning: The Dream Circle Revelation

Hours later, we still weren’t officially in Burning Man. We were in the so-called staging area of timelessness --- mainly because no one had any idea when we would get in.  

We found out that the people in the vehicles two rows over had already been there for hours and hadn’t moved an inch. It was now midnight but time at Burning Man really didn’t matter.

Burning Man is a quest and the destination isn’t that important as the experience and attitude doesn’t really begin (or stop) at the gates. It is part of those who are attending.  And the cool thing is that everyone there is ready to accept things with an open mind.

It’s almost as if you can see the hole in the their normal barriers and their curious, searching tentacles reaching out to you.

WHY ARE YOU HERE?

At Burning Man, we are all children asking “Why?” And the question most often asked to newbies is “Why did you decide to come?”

This is the question Michael and Pimm asked us.  First time Burners like me, they were parked behind us in the “staging” area and had traveled from Amsterdam.  They had rented this Camper Van from Juicy Lucy in Vegas (Cool name. Plus, it's lime green and purple…how could you resist?) and were pretty much winging it. No bikes. No real plans or clue what to expect - except what they saw on YouTube. But they did have a whole lot of alcohol.

However, just like me, they had spent a lot of time on the costumes.  They were going to be gladiators and had custom skirts made and some sort of fancy helmet thing with lights that I didn’t get to see – but it sounded much fancier than my gold and purple disco shorts and Madonna-envy bra.

But let’s get back to the question of “why.”

Why were we newbies at Burning Man?  After a couple of shots of  Oliphant Jenever, a Dutch gin that was deliciously smooth, the words started to flow.

 Why was I there?  Hmmm…Well, my job is stressful and high paced so I was going to escape the boundaries of reality and take the time to see things in slow-motion, a difficult feat on its own. But I had some deeper goals.

In my quest to break down my barriers and inhibitions, I was looking to see if the Burning Man vibe would match my own and make me feel safe enough to release the constraints I put on myself in my day-to-day life.

Besides, I love art and the beauty of the playa had been calling me for years. As you know, I have a weakness for the desert and the dust is more than a little magical.

Michael was coming for a different reason.  He too had walls and fears to face. A little shy and an introvert, his quest was to work up the courage to talk to strangers.  Sure, he was talking to us, but it was his friend Pimm who first approached people, did the introductions and did all the talking to break the ice. Michael wanted to break out of his box by being the first to speak to strangers.  And what better place to take this chance than Burning Man?

Anna and I spoke to Michael for about 5 hours and we have no idea what he does for a living - which is one of the brilliant things about Burning Man. It’s not about what you do, but who you are. It’s an interesting switch as you aren’t defined by how you make money, but what you say, how you think and who you are as a person.

But at the same time, it’s scary – because so much of our lives is based on what we do for a living and what if the real us (without the job to back us up) is boring or lost?

THE RETURN OF THE GOLDEN CLITORIS

As the hours progressed, our conversations got deeper. Anna was a free spirit so when Michael decided to demonstrate how this creative technique he learned called "The  Dream Circle" worked, we were on board.

Carving out a circle in the sand, Michael tells us this is phase one. The dream phase.  It’s here you can dream of anything and not worry about the reality.

Anna immediately steps into the circle.

Image from burningman.org

“I dream of the Golden Clitoris,” she announces.

Michael and I don’t falter.  He draws another circle in the sand and tells me to get into it.  He says this is the area where the details happen. I have to decide things like is the Golden Clitoris big? Is it hard?

“It’s big enough to ride,” Anna says from her circle.

“It’s soft,” I say. 

They both look at me. Soft?

“Yes, it should be soft and comfortable – cozy-like.”

Apparently, they haven’t ridden a road bike for hours without a padded seat or bike shorts.  Believe me…soft is good.

They take this in and then accept it. Okay. Circle three: Implementation. 

“This is where they decide if the dream with the details can happen,” said Michael. “If they can’t, we go back to the dream circle and dream again.”

Interesting. Who would have thought I would learn something like this at Burning Man?

Burning Man Thursday Evening: The Golden Clitoris

Whew!!  It turns out Tania is not a serial killer, but a Burning Man virgin just like me.  AND just like me, she decided to take a chance and go all out by driving another Burner to the Playa.  Yay!! I’m so glad she took the chance.

In addition to me, she’s also taking her friend Anna who’s coming in from San Francisco.  Anna’s been to the festival one time before so she’s a little more prepared, which is excellent as it’s giving me the girl’s perspective on the event.

First of all she warns me about the dust. 

“The playa is toxic,” she said looking at my sandals. “You’ll want to wear your boots as much as possible as it’s going to crack the heels of your feet open.”

Eww… okay. Boots it is.

“And, if you do decide to go naked, don’t sit on the Playa,” she warns. “I had a friend who did that and she had Playa Pussy for a week.”

Tania and I let that sink in.  I don’t think either of us were planning to go naked, but imagining dried cracked feet in one’s vagina is enough to prevent that from ever happening – ever.

Which brings us to the Golden Clitoris.

Anna had recently heard about Sophia Wallace’s ClitorisaryProject and was enthralled by it.  

“Did you know that the clitoris was only discovered in 1998,” she told us.

We didn’t know and we were shocked (and more than a little saddened) by this new fact.

Yes, we just met, but were three highly educated, dynamic women – and when stuck together in a car for hours, we talked about stuff. Lots of very interesting stuff – and except for the boot warning, none had it had to do with fashion or beauty. But there was a long discussion about how men have gotten off with the excuse that not all women can orgasm – and whether it’s because they really can’t or because they haven’t been given the chance.

Yup…we were on our way to Burning Man, but ready to write a thesis on how the sexual revolution needed to be revised to reflect the rise of the female orgasm – with the help of the Golden Clitoris.

But our time together didn’t end there as we had an expectedly 6.5 hour delay at the gates of Black Rock City. No, there wasn’t any traffic when we got there at 10 p.m. on Thursday night, but there was some sort of “over-population” issue happening and the volunteers at the gate couldn’t let us in.  Instead they had to put us in what they call a “staging” area.  This sounds fancy, but it just means a massive line-up on the outskirts of the playa.

Of course, when they put us there, we had no idea we wouldn’t arrive at camp until nearly 5 a.m.

But when surrounded by fellow Burners, you are never bored because that’s when we met Pimm and Michael.

Burning Man Part 3: Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Playa

Two days until I leave for my first Burning Man experience and I’m running trying to get all the last minute stuff down.  I’m now the proud owner of gold and purple shiny disco shorts, an orange tutu, a lavender wig, bunny ears (borrowed from work), orange leg warmers, two different pairs of Steampunk style goggles, a weird fake fur coat and an assortment of shiny, pokey bras and halter tops that rival Madonna’s closet.

I also own killer biker boots and when I say killer, I mean they kill my feet.  Ouch.

Yes, I am colorful and shiny -- and if I had more time and more money, I may even be more bright and shiny. But I’m not exactly a Sparkle Pony. I might just be the Sparkle Pegasus, especially as I’m still worried about the camping part and hoping I can handle the dust, sleeping in the dirt and living outside for 4 days.

But let’s not worry about that now, because I have good news!  I have a ride from the Reno airport to the Playa!!!  I’m very excited about this, but don’t tell my mom because basically I’m doing modern day hitchhiking. 

I posted my desperate request for a ride on the Burning Man message board and a random stranger agreed to pick me up and drive me the 4 hours to the Playa. Very cool – as long as you don’t think about all those warnings you heard as a kid about accepting rides from strangers.

Her name is Tania – and she drives a Mini Cooper.  So she must be safe, right? Because how many mass murderers drive a mini?  It’s a super cool car owned by super cool people. Besides, where would they put the chain saw?  

Burning Man Part 2: Am I a Sparkle Pony?

Counting down to Burning Man. My ticket to Reno on August 30 has been bought and I have to have my suitcase packed and ready to give to my friend on August 24. 

The question is: What do I pack? 

Food is easy. I have my peanut butter and oatmeal (my staples for 12 hour hikes and 24 hour Ragnar runs).  And I gave my friend a couple hundred dollars to simply buy more of whatever he was bringing.  Done.

What I was stressing over was the outfits.  Burning Man is a strange event. You’re supposed to be a free spirit, but yet there is a certain look to “Burners.” 

It seems being a free spirit doesn’t mean wearing your comfy yoga shorts, flip flops and a bikini top.  Your free spirit is apparently your creative spirit and as an attendee of the event, you’re not just there to look at the large, interactive art and sculptures, but be part of the scenery – making you a piece of the art and an active participant of the event.

Oh…the pressure.

Unlike Halloween, you can’t just buy a “Burning Man” costume like you can with a pirate costume or a sexy angel costume.  It’s supposed to be something unique – but there are requirements.

1.  It needs to be warm as it gets cold at night on the Playa.
2.  It needs to have lights so you can be seen in the dark and not run over by people on bikes.
3. It needs to be something you can wear on a bike (no long skirts or things too tight to pedal in).

And I need to find 4 outfits for daywear and 4 for night time fun in a week – for cheap!!!

Pressure. Pressure. PRESSURE.

I ask my friend for advice and he tells me I can wear anything – but I should try not to look like a Sparkle Pony.

Hmmm....I’m so new to this whole Burning Man thing that I don’t know what this is.

So I do what every techie person does; I google it:

Crap…I think I may be a Sparkle Pony.

I'm going to Burning Man!!! (I think)

There are many rules I follow, but one of them is this: If someone offers you the chance to do something you’ve always wanted, say “yes” – even if you’re not sure you can pull it off.

That’s exactly what happened when a friend texted me yesterday saying he had an extra ticket to Burning Man that he wasn’t able to sell. He said I could have it if I went as his last minute back-up date and I found my own way there as he was going early.  I also agreed to paid for the gas on the way back, the hotel and my share of expenses. He would take care of the tent, packing and set-up, etc. Deal!

Burning Man has been on my Bucket List for years.  If you don't know what it is, check out this "what is Burning Man" link (although, I admit it's not that useful.) I’ve gotten close to going in the past, but haven’t actually done it yet for many reasons.  

1. First of all, the tickets always sell out and the lottery thing is confusing.  
2. Secondly, it’s expensive.  
3. And thirdly, I was a little scared to show up by myself as it’s massive and I wasn’t sure how it worked. 

I’m also not a camper so if I went on my own, I would have to rent a tent, sleeping bag and all the gear – and figure out how to put it up by myself in the middle of the desert.

YES, YES ,YES -- BUT NO, NO, NO!!

When I got the text message from my friend with the offer, my answer was “yes” – but my head was saying “no, no, no!” This was mostly because Burning Man was not in my budget this year. Even though my friend already had the tent and camping gear, I knew I would have to spend money to pull it off.  There was food to buy, gas and plane money, overnight hotel expenses on the way back as it’s a long drive to Black Rock City from Phoenix, and then the $380 Burning Man ticket  isn’t exactly cheap.

Then there are the costumes.  If you know me, then you know I don’t own anything Burning Man acceptable.  I own work clothes and working out clothes.  I would have to buy everything.

So this last minute trip was going to be a big last minute expense especially as my credit cards were already feeling the pressure of taking on my tuition payments for my Masters Program at Drexel – which brings me to the other reason my head was going “no, no, no!!”  

Burning Man was happening the same week my semester case study, multimedia project and final exam were due.  To pull it off going on the trip, I would have to go into a bit of debt (to pay my share) and I would have to finish my case study and multimedia project a week earlier than expected  -- which would be a struggle considering I only found out about the extra ticket 13 days before the trip.

But the hard part was the writing the final exam as I was supposed to write it the SAME week.   Yup, Burning Man was August 26 to September 2 and I had to write my exam between August 29 and September 2.  The exam is available through an online link – and there is no internet access at Burning Man.

So you see my dilemma? I was screwed.

LET THE SPINNING BEGIN

I instantly went into what I call “spinning mode.” 

I always believe there has got to be way to do something. It just might not be the way you expected to do it.  So I texted my friend:

“What if I only come for part of the week? Is that possible?”

“Yes. Which part?”

“I don’t know yet. When are you driving down?”

“I’m leaving Monday, and starting to drive back on September 2 and back in Phoenix on September 3.”

Hmm….this is not going to work.  More spinning.  Keep in mind I’m trying to save money and was really hoping to at least share a ride back with my friend to cut the costs. Flights were much cheaper during the week than the Labor Day Weekend -- so maybe if I flew back mid-week.  

“What if I go down with you on Monday and then flew back from Reno on Thursday?”

“You mean Thursday September 5?”

“No, August 30.”

“That would suck! You would miss the best part. You would miss the Man being burned and the Temple burning.”

Okay….I guess missing the Man being burned at Burning Man would be bad.  More spinning. The earliest I could write my exam was Thursday morning – if the link was available. Otherwise, I would have to write it on the plane to Reno and then quickly upload it once I landed.  I could be there late Thursday night.  I could then ride back with my friend. Yes, I think this could be doable.

Of course, there was a glitch to my plan.  How would I get from Reno to Black Rock City which was four hours away AND how would I find my friend when I got there in the middle of night?

Sigh….details, details.  I’ll worry about those tomorrow.